ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Product Information

Developed by Gámez and colleagues (2014), the Brief Experiential Avoidance Questionnaire is one psychometric assessment of experiential avoidance that has demonstrated good internal consistency. It comprises 15 6-point Likert Scale Items and has stronger construct validity than the (perhaps) better-known Acceptance and Avoidance Questionnaire-II (AAQ-II) (Tyndall et al., 2018). Tell yourself or your client to observe something—anything tangible and nearby might be a good start, or you could use the flow of breath as part of an exercise. This is adapted from The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety (Forsyth & Eifert, 2016) 2. Not This, Not That Exercise Clients can then complete the activities using whichever technologies they have on-hand (e.g., smartphone, computer) regardless of whether they are at home, on the go, or in the office. 1. Acceptance of Thoughts and Feelings You might try something with more perceived emotional valence, such as “failure”, or “ugly”. Going through the exercise once more should help reduce your client’s discomfort with the term, and after a longer period, it may help reduce its perceived credibility.

In this fully revised and updated edition of ACT with Love, therapist and world-renowned ACT expert Russ Harris shows how developing psychological flexibility-the ability to be in the present moment with openness, awareness, and focus, and to take effective action in line with one’s values-can help you and your partner strengthen and deepen your relationship. Also included is new information on attachment theory, powerful mindfulness and self-compassion techniques, and assertiveness and boundary-setting skills. Leisure and fun – What kinds of activities appeal to you for fun? How would you enjoy spending your downtime? What’s exciting for you? Relaxing?The feeling of love comes and goes on a whim; you can't control it. But the action of love is something you can do, regardless of how you are feeling.” I love how readable this guidebook is. Relationship advice never work most times when it comes from our so called friends and family unless we are ready to accept our situation and sincerely get genuine support from them. To illustrate, you might touch your nose; your client might then cover their ears while saying out loud: “I must touch my nose”. Acceptance – Sometimes called Expansion, this process is about creating space for emotions, impulses, and feelings that we might otherwise suppress or avoid (experiential avoidance, Hayes et al., 2012). This allows us to avoid over-inflating them or wasting too much energy on them so that we can move on more easily.

Starting with some basic mindfulness exercises is a good approach if your client isn’t familiar with the concept. The Five Senses Worksheet offers a simple practical sequence that encourages you to bring your awareness to what’s right here, right now. Being present is very helpful in appreciating what’s actually taking place in reality rather than simply in our heads. It empowers us to commit to bigger goals rather than getting caught up in past events and internal ongoings while strengthening our ability to accept and overcome our struggles. To put things into further context, ACT has 6 central processes (Harris, 2006). If you’re already familiar with these as a helping professional, feel free to skip ahead to the worksheets in this section.With these processes and principles in mind, here are some useful ACT worksheets. Expansion and Acceptance Worksheets 1. Don’t Think About Your Thoughts Worksheet As a psychology student, it's been a few years since I got interest in Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, and I was really curious how this could apply to couples & relationships. Of course I was curious whether it would be helpful for my own relationships or not. Being Present – Fostering an awareness of how we’re currently feeling, both physically and mentally. Rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, connecting with the present is about engaging completely with ‘right now’. ACT exercises and activities on mindfulness are helpful in this respect.